My 2023 Year in Review

In addition to the highlights below, I continued to co-host the Heterodorx podcast with Corinna Cohn, and make $150 Drawings.

January

My 2023 started with crowdfunding platform IndyGoGo retroactively canceling my independent comic book Agents of HAG, automatically refunding all the backers and denying me access to all records.

I traveled to New Orleans with my pals Corinna Cohn and Shannon Thrace to attend a Quillette Social. It was a fun trip, my first flights since 2020’s COVID pandemic shutdowns, and I didn’t die.

February

I flew again with Corinna to Ireland, to visit our friend Alasdair who had been recently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. This was my first trip ever to that country, and I feared my last time ever to see Alasdair. (SPOILER ALERT: Alasdair didn’t die. His immunotherapy treatments appear to be wildly successful and there’s a good chance that whatever kills him eventually won’t be cancer.)

I began production of my coolest merch item ever, Apocalypse Animated Lenticular Cards. These were very costly to print, so I crowdfunded some of the expense, this time through GiveSendGo because they supposedly don’t cancel artists. It’s a Christian platform so I did get a call from them later offering to pray for me and my project. As long as the so-called secular world is high on canceling, I’ll take any prayers I can get.

I returned to IndieGoGo with a campaign for Compliance Comix, which is just Agents of HAG (which they canceled) minus the words and pictures. Much to my surprise they didn’t cancel this campaign, so I actually printed them.

March

I embarked on the GENDER WARS Playing Cards. Once I committed to this project, the drawings just flew out of me. Meanwhile I made travel arrangements for events in New York City, Scotland, and Ireland. I may have been cancelled in January, but things were looking up.

On March 21 I came down with Covid. “Good timing,” I thought, “I have more than a month for this to pass before my travel starts. Better now than later!”

I then proceeded to have fevers over 103°F and was pretty much confined to bed for 4+ weeks.

April

Every day, I thought, this might be the day I start to feel better. Every day I continued to be very sick. I could walk from my bed to the bathroom and back. Occasionally I could walk to the kitchen. One time I tried to empty the dishwasher but it made my heart race. I occasionally tried walking, and struggled to the end of my driveway and back. I’ve been very sick before, but Covid was something else. It just pinned me down and didn’t let up.

On good days I could sit at my drawing table and work on the remaining GENDER WARS cards, which I was keen to finish. Somehow, I did.

May

On May 2nd I left my house for the first time since getting sick, to attend a party. I was back to bed the next day. The following day I rode my bike. May was mostly one day semi-normal, one day back in bed. Eventually I returned to almost normal, except for my resting body temperature, which stayed a full 1.5°F higher than it was before. My GP was utterly incurious about it.

I finally made a proper e-store for the Apocalypse Animated and GENDER WARS cards and other merch. Long overdue!

June

My Mom began preparations for moving from the house we’d shared for 7 years, to an “Independent Living” apartment at the local Geezer Place. After a very brief search for a housemate, my friend J was eager to move in in August.

I rode my bikes frequently and gently. I avoided overexertion, as that can cause the dreaded Long Covid. My rides got longer as I got healthier, and finally I rode my first Imperial Century of the year, 100 miles. It felt great.

July

I returned to my usual summer occupation, long bike rides and recovery. Corinna and I flew to Denver for the ICONS summit July 21-22, one of the best conferences I ever attended. I was really inspired and encouraged by the badass female athletes and their supporters.

August

My sister and her husband visited Urbana to help my Mom move. My supposed future housemate J backed out of moving in at the last minute, leaving me with a bunch of problems and significantly less trust in other people. My Mom moved successfully and her new apartment is so nice I’d love to live there myself, but I can’t afford it.

I had some minor digestive health issues, not really unusual.

September

I got to test ride a fancy AZUB trike with battery assist! 

I filed a complaint with the City of Urbana against local store the Art Coop, which had displayed a prominent “NO TERFS” sign for years.10222023 dey1.jpg

I finally furnished my Mom’s former side of the house, which had been eerily empty since her departure. I hung my handmade art quilts around the space and suddenly it became pleasant and beautiful. 

Listing image 1

October

I had my first AirBnB guests in the Quilt Suite. I rather enjoy being an occasional innkeeper. If you’d like to stay here please email me directly for a better rate:
20 Talk To Me, Baby

I tried some elimination diets in hopes of discovering what was causing my digestive troubles. I ate no wheat for a couple weeks. I avoided dairy. I avoided chocolate. I could not find the culprit before I flew to Houston, TX to marry MK Fain and Alex Gleason. I’m seldom even invited to weddings, due to my bad attitude and unromantic nature, but these two wanted me to officiate their ceremony! It was a pleasure and an honor.

Then I flew to Denver and hung out with my friend Lisa, who made this amusing little short about Menopausal Woman.

November

Still in Denver, I attended the Genspect conference shortly thereafter. It was fun, intense, and socially overstimulating, but worth it to see all these people I knew from online in 3-D/360°. I flew home after 11 days of travel. 

After Genspect, I got canceled again.  

Also after Genspect, the so-called Gender Critical movement blew apart, due to what’s now called AGPgate. I had planned on making a 2024 edition of GENDER WARS cards, but the illiberal behavior of my former compatriots put me off. I’m still not sure if I’ll make that deck or not. Regardless, I have other things to occupy my time and attention, because I finally visited a doctor to discuss my not-resolving digestive issues.

December

“Your symptoms could be colon cancer. I’m not saying you HAVE colon cancer. But you’ll have to get a colonoscopy.” So I was referred to a GI specialist, which usually takes months, but there was a cancelation so it only took days. I had my blood tested and my poop tested and a colonoscopy was scheduled, which would have taken months but — miracle! — there was a cancelation so that too only took days. I was soon diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease and have been on the rollercoaster of “acceptance” ever since. A follow-up with another specialist determined my case is moderate-to-severe, its only redeeming quality that it’s of such recent onset I may escape bad scarring if treatment (monthly hospital-administered infusions of a “biologic” drug called Skyrizi) puts it in remission. My infusions still aren’t scheduled because we’re waiting for “prior authorization” from my insurance. Meanwhile I’m on a low-fiber diet, which as a formerly-healthy vegetarian is bizarre. My attention is consumed reading Crohn’s disease forums, trying to guess what foods might ruin my guts, and getting to know my new masticating juicer that arrived a few days ago (so far, so good). I’m pretty confident my Crohn’s was triggered by Covid, as that is a Thing; I call it Covid Reactive Autoimmune Pathology, or CRAP. It might explain why my temperature has been elevated since my Covid Spring. 

On the bright side, I’m receiving lots of love and support, for which I feel much gratitude. 

I neither regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. As we stumble into 2024, I feel mostly curiosity. Whatever happens in the next 12 months, one thing is for certain: more will be revealed!

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Hundred-Fifty Dollar Drawing Roundup

It’s Hibernation Season, but my big planned projects have been stymied, so I’m doing Hundred-Fifty Dollar Drawings instead. Here are some new ones:

“Neanderthal Pride” for Pam
“Gigantic Cat” for Sue
“Aloha Reindeer” for Lisa
“Cat Chaplain” for Terence
“Gender Equality” for Colette
“Amazing Corgi” for Chris
“Vampire, Pilgrim” for Connie
“Intellectual Poverty” for Pen
“Molecules. Emotions.” for Becky

Plus, this E-Bike Safety Sheet for Bicycle Evolution:

Not a $150 Drawing.
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Bat Mitzvah

A poem about connecting with my Ashkenazi heritage.

Today I am a woman.
Today I am a Jew.
Today I have an ailment
my ancestors all knew.

For many generations,
my Fathers’ guts have hurt.
My Mother can’t eat chocolate:
a most unjust dessert.

I gather all my chocolate;
I give it all away.
No more can I digest it;
And I have Crohn’s today.

I feel myself much older
than I have ever known.
Today I have a Crohn’s disease;
Today I am a crone.

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My Former Brother

My former brother declared on Fecebook that humans can change sex.
I invited him on Heterodorx, the podcast I co-host with Corinna Cohn, to explain how.
He declined in a long email, in which he chastised me once again for my insensitivity to The Trans Community. He asserted men can become women. He referred to such women as “former men.”

Corinna wrote him an email in response that was a cutting, glorious thing. Corinna is the only man who has ever stood up for me to my former brother (or father, to whom my former brother bears much resemblance). He signed his email, “Former Man.”

After this exchange I decided to personally, privately disown my former brother. I have heard that other brothers defend or encourage their little sisters; mine has always done the opposite. Whenever I found myself bullied or attacked, he blamed me. Perhaps he blamed me for his own troubles too, since my role as the youngest in my family seemed to be scapegoat. When I first got viciously canceled for saying women don’t have penises, he sent me a long email urging me to apologize to everyone I “hurt.” 

Following his logic, I reasoned that if men can become women — if history and biological reality can be fundamentally rewritten by will, identity, or “dysphoria” — then I could identify out of being his sister. I have Sibling Dysphoria. Having him as a brother never felt right; it felt horrible. From a very young age I knew I was born in the wrong family. My True, Authentic Self is not the sister of this man. From that point onward, I identified him as not-my-brother.

That was over a year-and-a-half ago. Last week, after numerous tests including a colonoscopy following months of symptoms, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. The number-one risk factor for Crohn’s disease is having an immediate family member with Crohn’s disease: a parent or sibling. My former brother has Crohn’s disease.

Maybe I should have removed any relation to him from my medical records, to affirm my True Identity. Medical forms have countless genders patients can choose from, which physicians are required to affirm; why shouldn’t they affirm my unrelated-to-asshole-with-Crohn’s-disease identity? Lord knows I’ve felt suicidal in the absence of its affirmation, such as during my entire childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. 

But regardless of whether I received that life-saving affirmation, I would have Crohn’s Disease anyway. Just like the “transman” who showed up at the hospital in pain was pregnant anyway. Because “former women” are still women, “former men” are still men, and my former brother is still my brother, no matter how much I hate it.

Feeling the need to state sibling preference is not a comfortable thing to do, and my history has been filled with pain.

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