Intolerance

I was “no-platformed” in my hometown this week, because months ago and in a completely unrelated context I said “if a person has a penis he’s a man.” I stand by that statement; my views on the subject are formally articulated here. I am ashamed of venues that cave to bullies. They deleted the event page but not before these screenshots were taken.

“Tolerance” is no longer a liberal value. Now the word is “inclusion”, which actually means “silence everyone I disagree with.” I was able to have a productive and valuable conversation with Jordan Peterson, in spite of – or perhaps because of – our differences. It’s not hard; respect, civility, and tolerance are values we share. Meanwhile so-called “left” ideologues can’t tolerate any questioning or dissent; their tactic is to bully and silence women like me.

These same screenshots were posted on Imgur yesterday; in the middle of the night they all vanished. New link here, but it too can be disappeared at any time. That is the world these intolerant political tactics create.

Regardless of political positions, people need to step up for free speech and tolerance. I have always supported the right to speak for everyone, especially people I disagree with. That’s what free speech is about. The alternative is fascism, which the “left” seems to be hell-bent on creating, even more than the “right” they claim to “resist.” They actually share the worst values of those they claim to oppose.

Read it and weep:

Continue reading “Intolerance”

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Where is Seder-Masochism?

Seder-Masochism is currently doing its film festival rounds. There are a number of festivals lined up this Fall and Winter, most of which I can’t name until they make their official announcements. I really, REALLY want to free the thing online, like, yesterday, but many festivals will disqualify any film that has an “online platform.” Film festivals are the only theatrical screenings it’s ever likely to have, so I’m not going to publicize an online release – even a Free, peer-to-peer one – until its “regional premieres” (which some festivals insist on) are done. If it’s any consolation, this waiting drives me crazy. But I’m going to wait, so that it may see the light of theater screens.

Love,

–Nina

P.S. If you haven’t seen my first feature, Sita Sings the Blues, now would be a good time to watch it! It’s Free all over the place.

 

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Jordan Peterson Interview

Jordan Peterson interviewed me last year (Seder-Masochism was not yet finished when we spoke) and finally the video is up. We talk about the Old Testament, religion, art, inspiration, and copyright, among other subjects.

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Independence Day!

Fibroid_stars_and_stripes2_1

I am celebrating independence from my uterus and cervical fibroid by resting indoors while my body knits together my post-surgery innards! I told you my posts would be strange for a while.

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Nina’s Big Hysterectomy Adventure

At long last, I am on the other side of “hystery.” I’ve had a rough year, health-wise, culminating in this crisis. But on Wednesday I got my long-sought-after hysterectomy (ovaries stayed in, everything else removed). It was complicated, due to the location of the fibroid in my cervix, and the surgery itself took 4.5 hours, and the doctor tells me I can expect more recovery pain than a “normal” hysterectomy. But I’m recovering steadily and glad the wait is over.

Photos below, including one of the “specimen” the surgeon removed. If you are weak of stomach, do not scroll down.

From the car, headed to SIU St. John's Hospital, Springfield IL.
From the car, headed to SIU St. John’s Hospital, Springfield IL.
Before the surgery. Phone picture is blurry, but my head still wasn't. I just wanted to get on with it already!
Before  surgery. Picture (taken on SpecialManFriend’s tiny phone) is blurry, but my head still wasn’t. I just wanted to get on with it already.
After surgery, which took 4.5 hours. I was under for longer than that, as actual surgery started kind of late. Last thing I remember is being wheeled out of the pre-op room, around 1:45pm. Next memory is being spoon-fed ice chips by a nurse, around 8:30pm.
After surgery, which took 4.5 hours. I was under for longer than that, as actual surgery started kind of late. Last thing I remember is being wheeled out of the pre-op room, around 1:45pm. Next memory is being spoon-fed ice chips by a nurse, around 8:30pm.
THE MONEY SHOT! I photographed it off the surgeon's phone (and added the labels later) since he can't share this photo because it's locked with a HIPA-compliant app. He will try to get me a print of it for my post-op appointment in a couple weeks. As you can see, the fibroid stuffing my cervix is not only bigger than my cervix, but bigger than my whole uterus. There is actually another fibroid in my uterus there, but it's obviously smaller.
THE MONEY SHOT! I photographed it off the surgeon’s phone (and added the labels later) since he can’t share this photo because it’s locked with a HIPA-compliant app. He will try to get me a print of it for my post-op appointment in a couple weeks.
As you can see, the fibroid stuffing my cervix is not only bigger than my cervix, but bigger than my whole uterus. For reference, here are diagrams of normal uteruses (uteri?) and cervixes (cervices?).
There is actually another fibroid in my uterus there, but it’s obviously smaller.
The next morning, after several hours of drug-induced haze (not exactly "sleep"). I had a catheter and didn't move my legs at all for about 16 hours. When I finally did, I had episodes of shaking and teeth-chattering, and later puking. Probably after-effects of anasthesia. In spite of a few setbacks, I got on my feet a few times and started peeing normally. The effects of the drugs seemed worse than the pain itself.
The next morning, after several hours of drug-induced haze (not exactly “sleep”). I had a catheter and didn’t move my legs at all for about 16 hours. When I finally did, I had episodes of shaking and teeth-chattering, and later puking. Probably after-effects of anesthesia. In spite of a few setbacks, I got on my feet a few times and started peeing normally. The effects of the drugs seemed worse than the pain itself.
I ended up staying 2 nights at the hospital. We'd only planned for one, but I wasn't stable enough to go home the day after surgery. Here's my bed right after I was discharged Friday morning.
I ended up staying 2 nights at the hospital. We’d only planned for one, but I wasn’t stable enough to go home the day after surgery. Here’s my bed right after I was discharged Friday morning.
Home at last! Momz got me this lap tray to protect my belly from the cats, and it was useful instantly. I look much, much better in this photo than I feel! But I can get up and walk, my 5 abdominal incisions are healing, and the brain fog isn't too bad since I stopped the presecription painkillers and am only taking OTC Naproxen.
Home at last! My Momz got me this lap tray to protect my belly from the cats, and it was useful instantly. I look much, much better in this photo than I feel! But I can get up and walk, my 5 abdominal incisions are healing, and the brain fog isn’t too bad since I stopped the prescription painkillers and am only taking OTC Naproxen.

Reviewing these photos, it doesn’t look like such a big deal. But it was at the time! And is now, to be honest, as I spend most of the day sleeping and dreaming very weird dreams, like having to eat my way out of a giant bathtub of lentil soup. Right now is my big morning at my ol’ computer, feeling semi-normal for a few minutes. I’m supposed to be mostly recovered in 2 months, at which time I am allowed to bicycle again. Until then, my posts may be stranger than usual.

UPDATE MONDAY JULY 2: I’m still getting better. My biggest challenge is coughing, which I can’t do without bad abdominal pain. But I have to cough to clear the crud from my throat, which is still recovering from the breathing tube I had in me for many hours. It’s quite a conundrum. Fortunately, laughing is not nearly as painful.

I had my first walk outside today, about a quarter of a mile. Everything looked amazing: flowers, trees, blue skies, clouds. I’m grateful to be alive.

UPDATE JULY  15: at my 2-week post-op appointment, the surgeon said the biopsy revealed the cervical fibroid was 7cm. My cervix also contained a 2cm polyp. And there were multiple fibroids in my uterus. Neither cancer nor endometriosis were detected.

My recovery continues to go well. I can now walk up to 3 miles a day, and don’t need any painkillers, even over-the-counter ones.

UPDATE SEPTEMBER 19: Today marks 12 weeks since my hysterectomy. I officially deem it a success! No more constant low-level abdominal pain. No more periods! And…I can have sex again without becoming violently ill. That’s right, I was facing a future of no more sex ever, because I got so sick from it (including vomiting, the last time before my fibroid was discovered). Turns out you’re not supposed to have a tennis-ball sized tumor rammed up in there! Now that it’s gone (along with its numerous sister fibroids and polyps, and the cervix and uterus they grew in) I feel MUCH better. A+ would recommend.

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