Sung by Judy Handmaiden
My mind is clearer now.
At last all too well
I can see where we all soon will be.
If you strip away
The myth from the men,
You will see where we all soon will be.
Woman!
They’ve started to believe
All that postmodern woo.
They really do believe
their genders could be true.
And all the rights you’ve won
Will soon be swept away.
Reality now matters less
Than the things they say.
Listen Woman I don’t like what I see.
All I ask is that you listen to me.
And remember, I’ve been the Left’s handmaiden all along.
You have set them all on fire
By saying sex is not attire.
And they hurt you when you show they’re wrong.
I remember when this whole thing began.
No talk of “cis” then, just woman and man.
And believe me, my admiration for you hasn’t died.
But every word you say today
Gets twisted ’round some other way.
And they hurt you when you show they’ve lied.
Internet, your female crones
should have stayed the great unknowns
Like her mother keeping house, serving her spouse.
Not complaining when oppressed
would have suited Woman best.
She’d have caused nobody harm; no one alarm.
Listen, Woman, do you care for your sex?
Don’t you see that their boot’s on our necks?
We are occupied; have you forgotten how put down we are?
I am frightened for the TERVes
For they have hit too many nerves.
And they’ll crush us if we go too far.
If we go too far
Listen, Woman, to the warning I give.
Please remember that I want us to live,
But it’s sad to see our chances weakening with every hour.
All your followers are blind
Too much TERVen on their minds.
It was beautiful, but now it’s sour.
Yes it’s all gone sour.
Listen, Woman, to the warning I give.
Please remember that I want us to live.
So c’mon, c’mon
She won’t listen to me
c’mon, listen to me
She won’t listen to me
Oooh, I’ve got one! (Speaking of the 70s…)
I Am Woman: 2019 Version
(To the tune of “I Am Woman†by Helen Reddy)
I am Woman, suck my dick
For it cuts me to the quick
When you bigots keep on saying It’s Not So;
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before;
Conventionality’s a bore
that is meant for all of us to overthrow!
I’m Divine
I am Fabulous
I am Woman
Oh, my feelings supersede
logic, science, sense and creed
It’s de rigeur to affirm me as a “sheâ€;
If you won’t wax my lady balls
My lawyer will give you a call
For offense to my pretense-biology
I am Fragile
I am Delicate
I am Woman
If you dare challenge my game
I will call you nasty names
and label you a phobic right-wing hack
I will ruin your career;
Your reputation I will smear
with distortions and hyperbolic attacks
I’m Vindictive
I’m a Total Bitch
I am Woman!
I’ll shout it high and low
That the Emperor wears clothes
and in fact she wears a stunning Versace dress
And do bear this in mind:
The proper way she is defined
You’re all required to call her The Empress
You must yield!
You must genuflect!
I am Woman!