I spoke with Stephanie Winn of You Must Be Some Kind of Therapist at the end of December. We got kinda deep and spiritual on the subject of cancellation and some other stuff.
Stephanie Winn Interview
Category: speaking
MK and Alex’s Wedding Ceremony
My friends MK and Alex asked me to officiate their October 27, 2023 Halloween-themed wedding in Houston, TX, and I was honored to oblige. Below is the ceremony I wrote for them.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Welcome to MK and Alex’s wedding! Please silence your phones and devices and put them away. There’s a professional photographer here, you don’t need to take photos.
INTRODUCTION
My name is Nina Paley. I met MK and Alex just before a screening of my film Seder-Masochism in New York. The festival director had just whispered to me they’d gotten complaints about me being a “TERF”. As I wandered around in a familiar despair, a young woman introduced herself to me. “We love your work,” she said enthusiastically. And then, conspiratorially, “and also your ideas.” That perked me right up. Shortly after the screening we visited a vegan restaurant together. MK and Alex were still shell-shocked from the social implosion of the anarchist vegan co-op house they’d helped create. They were so smart, creative, and optimistic, I was utterly charmed by their tales of getting bashed up by idealism’s inevitable horrors. A year or two later they emailed me about their new women-centered feminist social media site, Spinster. I became a moderator, joined them on a visit to California, saw MK at the Michigan Framily Reunion, interviewed Alex and MK separately on the Heterodorx podcast, and otherwise follow them online. MK and Alex are a couple of brave and brilliant pioneers who have been through a lot together. Their relationship has already outlasted any of mine by a factor of at least two, so I am pleased to officiate their union.
INVOCATION
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and these witnesses and the spectre of disappointed Radical Feminism to join together MK and Alex in holy matrimony; which is either an honorable estate instituted of God, or the maintaining of women as chattel property in Patriarchy. Into this holy estate, or disgrace to women’s liberation, these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore, if anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace – Radical Feminists excepted, they’ve already heard our arguments, Alex and MK really really REALLY want to get married anyway for some reason. Maybe they want to make babies? We know what causes that, talk to me after the ceremony and I can explain.
READING
At this point in the ceremony it is traditional to read from the Apostle Paul, The first letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13: Love is patient, love is kind, blah blah etc.
Now I shall read from by Toerien and Williams, “In Knots: Dilemmas of a Feminist Couple Contemplating Marriage” page 434:“…marriage remains thoroughly tainted by being a long-standing buttress for the patriarchal domination of women.”
DECLARATION OF INTENT
MK and Alex, you have come together this day so that God may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of this gathering, and the Patriarchy may further enforce oppressive gender norms. I ask you to state your intentions: Have you both come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? As if anyone has free choice uninfluenced by society? If so, answer by saying ‘I have.’ (I have.)
MK and Alex will now exchange vows. (Vows recited)
RING EXCHANGE
MK and Alex will now take off the rings they’ve been wearing for 6 months and pretend to exchange them, just as they will pretend the relationship they’ve been in for the last seven-and-a-half years will be consummated after this ceremony.
Alex, as you place the ring on MK’s finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.
MK, as you place the ring on Alex’s finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.
PRONOUNCEMENT
In so much as MK and Alex have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, having given and pledged their faith, each to the other; by the vestiges of disappointed Radical Feminism, I pronounce you Adult Human Female and Husband.
You may kiss the groom. Or not; your body your choice!
Interview with Becky Neiman
Talking about art and animation for a change.
“We at Northeastern University stand for inclusion and diversity.”
Today I was supposed to speak to an animation class via video. College I’d never heard of, teacher I’d never heard of, small thing, figured they knew who I was. Made plans, blocked space in my calendar. Barely an hour before I’m supposed to log onto their zoom link, I get this:
Full email thread pasted below, because it’s so typical. I will never accept another speaking invitation unless they promise not to do this.
Every time I think, “good, they don’t care, it’s blown over,” and EVERY TIME this happens. I’m like Charlie Brown trying to kick Lucy’s football.
This was such a small thing I was doing AS A FAVOR TO THEM.
No more.
Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com>
To:
Wadhwa, Parul
Cc:
Nina Paley
Tue, Nov 14 at 10:32 AM
Hello Nina
We at Northeastern University stand for inclusion and diversity. We stand against your stance with TERF as expressed on your website and will therefore have to cancel our lecture today and withdraw this invitation.
Apologies for the inconvenience.
Thanks for your understanding and interest.
Parul Wadhwa
On Wed, Nov 8, 2023 at 9:24?PM Wadhwa, Parul <p.wadhwa@northeastern.edu> wrote:
Perfect, thanks Nina. See you Tuesday!
Parul Wadhwa
Lecturer, Mills College
College of Arts, Media and Design (CAMD)
Northeastern University
Oakland, CA
From: Nina Paley <nina_paley@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 8, 2023 2:05 PM
To: Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com>
Cc: Wadhwa, Parul <p.wadhwa@northeastern.edu>
Subject: Re: Guest Lecture request at Northeastern University virtually
Hi Parul,
Got it!
You can use the bio at https://sedermasochism.com/director/
See you Tuesday,
–Nina
On Tuesday, November 7, 2023 at 02:36:18 PM CST, Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com> wrote:
Dear Nina
I am looking forward to having you come to our class next week Tuesday at November 14th, 10am PST.
Can you please share your bio that you’d like me to use to introduce you to our students at Northeastern University.
Please let me know if you have any questions!
Looking forward to meeting you next Tuesday.
Thank you for your time,
Parul Wadhwa
PS- Here is the zoom link for joining the class: Parul Wadhwa is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: ARTD2370 20327 Animation Basics SEC 30 Fall 2023 [OAK-1-TR]
Time: Nov 14, 2023 08:30 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
Join Zoom Meeting
https://northeastern.zoom.us/j/91462978281?pwd=S1RXYmdQQ1NUTmUxWk44T0RDV1Z2QT09
Meeting ID: 914 6297 8281
Passcode: 881802
—
One tap mobile
+12532158782,,91462978281# US (Tacoma)
+12532050468,,91462978281# US
Find your local number: https://northeastern.zoom.us/u/abQwIVKUea
—
On Mon, Oct 30, 2023 at 3:34?PM Nina Paley <nina_paley@yahoo.com> wrote:
Thank you!!
—Nina
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 30, 2023, at 5:27 PM, Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com> wrote:
Yes, that works too.10-11am PST, Nov 14th it is then. I will send you a calendar invite this week. Thanks!
On Mon, Oct 30, 2023 at 3:25?PM Nina Paley <nina_paley@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Parul,
Can we do it an hour earlier?
—Nina
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 30, 2023, at 5:19 PM, Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com> wrote:
Hi Nina
That’s great. Tuesday the 14th of Nov works for me. Let’s keep it at 11am PST?
Would you have about 15 minutes any day before that so we can discuss the lecture briefly? I can meet on zoom/phone any Friday for 15-20 mins.
Thanks so much for your time. Looking forward to having you in class.
parul
On Fri, Oct 27, 2023 at 8:26?PM Nina Paley <nina_paley@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Parul,
Great! Any of those Tuesdays would work. How about the 14th?
—Nina
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 27, 2023, at 9:27 PM, Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com> wrote:
Thanks for your interest, Nina. Yes, my class meets virtually every Tue 9-12pm PST.
Would a meeting over zoom work for you?
Would any Tues between the 14th Nov-5th Dec work for you?
thanks,
p
On Fri, Oct 27, 2023 at 6:44?PM Nina Paley <nina_paley@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hi Parul,
I’d love to, but I live in Illinois. Would this be a remote video visit?
Thanks,
—Nina
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 27, 2023, at 4:23 PM, Parul Wadhwa <parwad@gmail.com> wrote:
Dear Nina
My name is Parul and I am an artist and educator currently teaching at Northeastern University, Oakland as a Lecturer. My current offering is an Animation Basics course (syllabus attached) that introduces undergraduates to the 12 basic principles of animation and their applications in 2D and 3D using animation tools.
I am writing to you to invite you as a Guest Speaker to my class.
I teach Tuesdays 9am-12pm PST virtually so any coming Tuesday would work for me. Would you be available for about 40-45 mins + 10 mins Q&A to speak to my class?
I was hoping you could share about Sita sings the Blues (which is my favourite piece of yours) in the context of the class. I was wondering if you could introduce your journey into animation and working on this film, the animation techniques you used and the storytelling process. Also, anything else from your work that you might want to include.
There is a stipend of $150 from the university for your valuable time.
Please let me know if you are available and interested.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Have a good weekend.
—
Sincerely,
Parul Wadhwa
MFA, Digital Arts and New Media
<ARTD 2370 + ARTD 2371 .pdf>
Mon Dec 12, 6pm ET: Dreger-Wright Debate!
LIVE on MONDAY Dec 12 at 6pm EST! Alice Dreger and Colin Wright (not pictured) will DEBATE whether “Biological sex is real, immutable, and binary” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2aKX8Mcz9Q&ab_channel=CorinnaCohn
Tune in live to join us in the comments box!
Heterodorx
Hey TERFs and Trannies! That’s my signature greeting on Heterodorx, the new podcast I’m doing with Corinna Cohn. Our first episode was recorded Friday evening, after I’d biked 30 miles and hiked two, so I wasn’t at my most articulate. We had some technical issues, including my cat, Lola, rubbing her head against my mic, causing loud horrible noises we couldn’t remove due to recording everything on a single track. Our next episode should be better. Still, I like this first foray, and hope you listen.
Heterodorx podcast
Heterodorx web site