Love Thine Enemy

I hated my parents. I hated my school. I hated the cops. I hated all authority. 

I hate anything that imposes limits on me, that gets in my way.

I hate disease, I hate that death is inevitable, I hate the laws of Nature. We all do. We all hate our parents, we all hate our Mother.

What goes up must come down. Hate that!

I hate that people form mobs and go after scapegoats. I hate that I have been a scapegoat, and may be again.

Hell is other people. I hate ‘em.

I hate suffering. Life is suffering.

And yet. See what happens when we overcome our limits?

See what happened when humans developed antibiotics, thereby evading a longstanding limit of Nature? Now humans overpopulate a still-limited planet, destroying vast swathes of wild habitat and species.

We developed industrial machinery, freeing ourselves from the limits of manual drudgery. Now we are captives of our own technology.

We domesticated animals and plants, freeing us from the vagaries of hunting and gathering. Now we lack purpose and meaning, as our animal instincts are continually frustrated.

We created writing systems, evading the limits of our very limited memories. Take that, Nature! Now we live in a mediated cultural hallucination.

Without limits, we create hell on earth.

We need everything we hate, to push against. We need gravity, to push against this Earth even though we want to fly. Imagine if we conquered gravity. Our muscles would turn to jello, our bones would weaken, we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves as we floated about. Pushing, tension, resistance, opposition: we are built for this. We are built for limits. We are made for enemies.

Without enemies, who are we?

Children of parents who fail to set limits, who can’t tolerate their children’s hatred, become narcissistic monsters. 

Atheists wonder, if God is such an asshole in the holy scriptures, why do the religious praise and worship Him? God certainly behaves like an Enemy, what with the plagues and commands to violence and contradictory imperatives and impossibly confusing directives and nonsensical rules and vindictiveness and punishments. Thus, to love God is to love thy Enemy. To love thy Enemy is to love God. If God is all, He is evil as well as good, limits along with freedom, hate along with love. To know Him is to love Him, and hate and fear Him too.

I love mine enemies, for giving me something to hate. Without enemies, whom would I hate? Myself? That would be much worse. I’m built to hate something, better it not be me.

Children hate their parents, especially their Mothers. It is a natural phase. As I become more like the Mother myself, I am more able to love my hating self, and the hating others, all we hateful children, mine enemies. Love thy enemy as thyself: we, who know what hate is, already do. 

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Muse Symbol

I’m looking at and thinking about religious symbols all day – ok, I admit it, CHRISTIAN symbols, those symbols I’m surrounded by here in Western Civilization, but which have always been forbidden because I’m an atheist Jew. Well, I’ve lifted that internal prohibition recently, and my symbol-loving mind has been wallowing in symbols like a pig in shit ever since.Crosses are everywhere, including the Venus symbol, also known as the Woman symbol. Some say the O represents the womb, and the + represents a man hanging off it. Obviously the cross symbol predates Christianity, and its meaning goes well beyond that religion, although it can’t shake its association in the West.

While I don’t strictly believe in any God of organized religion, I do believe in my Muse – at least I try to. So I made a symbol for Her. It looks just as occult and disturbing as any other religious symbol I’ve seen, which was the objective I guess. If I were the tattooing type, I’d consider it.

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Paroles, Paroles (Words, Words)

Paroles Paroles from Nina Paley on Vimeo.

Directed, animated, designed, etc. by Nina Paley
Hebrew consultant: Aharon Varady
Subtitles to come once I figure out how to make them Subtitles on everything except the repeating end verses, because I manually typed my first ever SRT file at 5am

Song: Paroles, Paroles
Score: Gianni Ferrio
Lyrics: Leo Chiosso and Giancarlo Del Re
Vocals: Dalida (Goddess) & Alain Delon (God)
circa 1973

(song abridged by Nina Paley)

English translation:

Male/God: IT’S STRANGE
I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE FOR ME TONIGHT
I LOOK AT YOU AS I DID THE FIRST TIME

Female/Goddess: MORE WORDS, ALWAYS WORDS
THE SAME WORDS

M: I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU

F: JUST  WORDS

M: BUT YOU ARE THAT BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY
THAT I WILL NEVER STOP READING.

F: EASY WORDS, FRAGILE WORDS
AREN’T THEY PRETTY

M: YOU ARE THE ONE OF TODAY AND THE ONE OF TOMORROW

F: TOO PRETTY

M: YOU ARE ALWAYS MY ONLY TRUTH.

F: BUT THE TIME FOR DREAMING IS UP
MEMORIES ALSO FADE
WHEN WE FORGET THEM

M: YOU ARE THE WIND THAT MAKES VIOLINS SING
AND YOU CARRY THE PERFUME OF ROSES

F: TOFFEES, SWEETS AND CHOCOLATES

M: SOMETIMES, I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU.

F: THANKS, NOT FOR ME
GIVE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE
WHO LIKES THE WIND AND THE ROSES’ PERFUME
TENDER, SUGAR-COATED WORDS
TASTE SWEET ON THE LIPS, BUT NEVER IN MY HEART

M: ANOTHER WORD.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: LISTEN TO ME!

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: PLEASE.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: I SWEAR TO YOU.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS
MORE WORDS THAT YOU SOW IN THE WIND

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: LISTEN TO ME.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: PLEASE.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: I SWEAR TO YOU.

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS
MORE WORDS THAT YOU SOW IN THE WIND

M: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS

M: YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

F: WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS
MORE WORDS THAT YOU SOW IN THE WIND

________
Original French lyrics (translated from Italian by Michaële, abridged by Nina Paley):

C’est étrange,
Je ne sais pas ce qui m’arrive ce soir,
Je te regarde comme pour la première fois.
Encore des mots toujours des mots
Les mêmes mots
Je ne sais plus comme te dire,
Rien que des mots
Mais tu es cette belle histoire d’amour…
Que je ne cesserai jamais de lire.
Des mots faciles des mots fragiles
C’était trop beau
Tu es d’hier et de demain
Bien trop beau
De toujours ma seule vérité.
Mais c’est fini le temps des rêves
Les souvenirs se fanent aussi
Quand on les oublie
Tu es comme le vent qui fait chanter les violons
Et emporte au loin le parfum des roses.
Caramels, bonbons et chocolats
Par moments, je ne te comprends pas.
Merci, pas pour moi
Mais tu peux bien les offrir à une autre
Qui aime le vent et le parfum des roses
Moi, les mots tendres enrobés de douceur
Se posent sur ma bouche mais jamais sur mon coeur
Une parole encore.
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Écoute-moi.
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Je t’en prie.
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Je te jure.
Paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles
Encore des paroles que tu sèmes au vent

Paroles, paroles, paroles
Écoute-moi.
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Je t’en prie.
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Je te jure.
Paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles
Encore des paroles que tu sèmes au vent
Que tu es belle!
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Que tu est belle!
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Que tu est belle!
Paroles, paroles, paroles
Que tu est belle!
Paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles, paroles
Encore des paroles que tu sèmes au vent

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My account of the Total Eclipse of August 21, 2017

IMG_7777

It was very hot. We found a country cemetery (Ingram Hill Cemetery, outside Harrisburg IL) on a hill at the last minute. It had shade trees as well as open spaces, and a beautiful view. The great hills of Shawnee National Forest rose in the distance. A huge storm cloud hovered in the east. We’d been anxious that morning about clouds; the radar showed scattered rainstorms. There were other clouds around the horizon, but over our cemetery was all clear.

The eclipse was in progress by the time we got there. We wouldn’t have guessed; it was bright and hot. My weather app said “feels like 104F.” Just sitting in ____’s non-air-conditioned car was exhausting enough for me to break open my emergency electrolyte drink. We sat under a tree and walked out from time to time to gaze at the eclipse-in-progress with our Schnuck’s mylar-and-cardboard glasses. I pressed mine over my sunglasses and saw a fat crescent gradually get slimmer.

After a while everything looked the same, except I could take off my sunglasses. There was a puzzling, “is it getting dimmer? I can’t tell” period. Then we could tell: it was getting dimmer. Soon the quality of light was similar to late in the day, except it was coming from directly overhead. The shadows weren’t long, as you’d expect. The crescent was very slim now. We marveled at how bright the sun still was in spite of being mostly covered.

My eyes felt confused, like my irises were twitching open and closed trying to find the right level. The light was from overhead, but got dimmer and dimmer. ____ said it was like moonlight, only warmer and brighter.

Then, suddenly, it got dark. Not “very” dark, not night-time dark; just-after-sunset dark. The clouds on the horizon glowed pink and orange. Overhead was dark blue. We couldn’t see any stars or planets, whether because our eyes hadn’t adjusted, or because a mid-day eclipse with the sun at its zenith doesn’t darken the sky enough, we still don’t know. The corona was exactly like the pictures, except brighter. It was white-hot bright. The moon was a black disc. It looked like an eye in the sky.

Per other accounts, I kept saying “oh my god” as I looked around the
darkened landscape with a sunset directly overhead. Listening to myself I sounded like I was having sex for the first time.

Every day I unconsciously (and occasionally consciously) orient myself to the rays of the sun. It’s like sensing gravity: gravity is always “down,” whether you’re consciously paying attention or not. Sunlight is always coming from the sun, its qualities – strength, color, direction – always indicating where the sun is. The eclipse gave every indication the sun was setting, but it was directly overhead. It was wonderfully disorienting, as if gravity itself shifted and we were floating.

Then the shadow passed and it was suddenly brighter again, though very dim for mid-day. We put our eclipse glasses on again and saw the thinnest crescent, but that was enough to change everything back to day. The shadows returned, and soon the regular mid-day chorus of birds and insects did too. We marveled, stunned and delighted and moved, at what we had just seen.

Gradually we felt the temperature rise. We’d barely noticed the oppressive heat subside, until it came back. We chatted with some of the local people who had taken in the eclipse at the cemetery near us. Fortunately no one blared music, and although we weren’t completely alone, we had a lot of space to ourselves.

Then we drove home.

Eclipse2 - Frame 0

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