Recently my friend A. introduced me to her dog, Nell.
“Same name as my vagina,” I said, citing an old social media meme that instructed the reader to “name your vagina after the last movie you saw.” At the time, the last movie I had seen was Nell:
My friend S. said the last movie she saw was “The Hustle” and we all laughed.
As of that conversation, the last movie I had seen was Shazam, on the plane home from France. Shazam would make an excellent vagina name, but I’m already attached to Nell. Like Nell, my vagina is almost impossible to understand unless you get to know her really, really well, and is probably better off without any more dicks in her life. Also, Jodie Foster is super hot.
But I do need to name my new (to me) bicycle, a used Lightning P-38 Voyager, and for this, Shazam is perfect. Shazam’s superhero costume is red with a lightning bolt; my new bike is red with the Lightning Cycle Dynamics logo:
Shazam transforms back and forth from a smallish mediocre kid to a big impressive stud; likewise my bike transforms from a compact collection of parts in a hard-shell case, into a strong impressive road recumbent.