Is There A Doctor In The House?

Note: updated below
I NEED HELP. I have an orange-sized fibroid in my cervix, among other problems. The local hospital system is dysfunctional and corrupt – doctors don’t communicate with each other, or with patients (it is, however, one of the most PROFITABLE systems in the country! Isn’t that nice). My so-called “primary care physician” hasn’t seen me in 3 years, though not for lack of trying on my part. I visited the emergency room in great pain last year and since then have gotten bumped from specialist to specialist, and then dropped – it took 4 months to get a referral from the useless rheumatologist for the gynecologist, because someone somewhere dropped the ball and didn’t feel like it was important. Surgery that was supposed to happen this month or next, now won’t even start to be scheduled until July. Maybe. Every time Carle says they’ll do something by a certain time, they don’t – like I said, they took 4 months for a simple referral (and I had to get on their case to do anything about it at all). So even if I absolutely knew surgery was what I needed, there is an enormous trust problem at this point. Do I want these corrupt clowns cutting me?

A doctor in my family recommended someone at Loyola Medical Center who looked promising. So I called, and while they accept Medicaid, they don’t accept Medicaid managed by Meridian, which is what I have. So I called Illinois Medicaid and asked if I could switch to Molina, and they said no, I’m locked in until April of next year. So I called Meridian, who put me on hold for half an hour and then gave me numbers of nearby medical establishments which aren’t Carle. One of them was a disconnected number, the other, Kirby Med Center in Monticello, has no gynecologists at all. I called an affiliated gynecologist in Peoria, but his office is booked until at least July – and that would just be for an initial appointment.

What I REALLY want is a doctor that actually pays attention and can help me figure out what I should do. I won’t get that through my local med system. I probably won’t get that anywhere. But here’s my last-ditch effort before I resign myself to a life of pain and permanent celibacy (I can’t have sex without getting violently ill; celibacy is how I’ve been managing at all):

Are there any gynecologists among my fans? Any? I will travel to your state. I just want someone who will actually pay attention to my case. I am desperate.

Update 5-18: Due to help found through my cry of despair here & on fecebook, I have an appointment Monday with a gynecologist at SIU Med Center in Springfield IL. I was advised that teaching hospitals are eager for patients like me, and so far that seems to be the case. I called this morning, they were very helpful, and called back within 4 hours with said expedited consult appointment.

Then all I had to do was get my records released from Carle. Carle doesn’t accept emails for this (“they take too long,” they said on the phone). You have to visit their new vortex-of-evil administrative hell-plex on Staley road at Curtis, on the outside of town. Fortunately, SpecialManFriend(tm) was kind enough to take me there. I filled out the form, talked to the clerk, and came back after lunch. “Here are your records!” they said, handing me a big envelope. I almost walked off with it, but then decided to read through them first. Good thing, too – they’d neglected the most important, recent, and pertinent records of my MRI and ultrasound. They also neglected to include images, which I specifically requested. I politely asked for these things and they said, “oh, sorry, we’ll print those out now,” and “oh, ok, we’ll burn you a disc.” I’d be disgusted but I’m feeling too hopeful about getting a new doctor in a completely new, totally non-Carle system.

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Circumcision! NSFW

This is Not Safe For Work, so gif is under the fold. Continue reading Circumcision! NSFW

Hathor the Golden Calf

HathorWalk36

I took some liberties in this design. “Why all the boobies?” you may ask. Once upon a time, boobies were an object of respect, not shame and ridicule. My goddesses have big, bare breasts to represent that mindset. Not that I think boobies should be worshipped; I’m not into biological fertility, and I’m not a “breast (wo)man”. Having breasts myself, I can say they’re kind of a pain in the ass (nor am I an “ass (wo)man”). But there’s so much shame around female breasts these days, I make ’em big and plentiful on deities to remind myself, and hopefully you, that the shame, discomfort, and anger they provoke is about patriarchy, not women’s bodies.

Here’s Hathor as a golden idol:

HathorGold36

My favorite interpretation of Exodus 32 posits the Golden Calf was Hathor, a very popular Egyptian cow goddess. I’m running with that in my film. Fun!

Hormoned Hathor

When Yahweh said, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me” he probably meant goddesses. The popular cow-goddess Hathor may have been the golden calf of Exodus. That’s the angle I’m taking in Seder-Masochism, since so much of the Books of Moses seem devoted to crushing both competing (read: goddess-worshipping) religions as well as actual women (read: Leviticus and the even-worse Numbers). Here is a femmed-up Hathor experiment, a composite of both her cow/profile painting and humanoid/scultpural idioms. Plus some wings, because most Egyptian goddesses were portrayed in winged form sometimes, and wings are cool. Yes, her udders are boobies. Maybe I’ll scale it back for the actual movie, but I like my deities well-sexed. That’s why I portray Mount Sinai like this:

Mt. Horeb, Mt. Sinai

Crazy Little Thing

I interrupt this series of Ziz iterations to tell you about a new book you are likely to enjoy.  It’s called Crazy Little Thing: Why Love and Sex Drive us Mad, by Liz Langley. Why are you reading about it here on my blog? Because there’s a whole chapter about ME, that’s why! Apparently I am a paragon of how not to kill your ex in a tormented rage, and make a work of art instead. Most of the other profiles in the book are about people killing/maiming/permanently damaging their exes or themselves after breakups, but an alternative is to make a feature film, which is what I did and how I merited this sweeeet chapter. Also the book is well-written and funny, and you should read it.

Crazy Little Thing: Why Love and Sex Drive Us Mad

Avian Transportation Theory

Aaron Simpson pointed me to this excellent mock-trailer:

Originally found on RichardDawkins.net, it’s a parody of what looks like a truly dumb “Intelligent Design” PR piece.

You’ll notice there’s a little clip of my short film The Stork at the beginning. No, the producers didn’t ask for permission and no, that doesn’t bother me because yes, I enjoyed the piece so much I’m honored to be included (also the clip is really brief – blink and you might miss it). But hey Sexpelled producers – get in touch anyway, I like your style.
Continue reading Avian Transportation Theory

Wimmyns Side of Sex

This Saturday, fellow indie animatrix Signe Baumane is presenting a program called Women’s Side of Sex, including a clip from Sita. She and I and one other filmmaker will be present to answer questions and further embarrass ourselves.

Saturday March 22, at 8pm
at Millennium Film Workshop, 66 East 4th street
information: 212 673 0090
www.millenniumfilm.org
cinema@millenniumfilm.org
$8 admission

Seven seasoned in animation, sex and relationships women are going to share their sex/love stories with you :

Nina Paley www.ninapaley.com
Debra Solomon www.debrasolomon.com
Brook Keesling www.boobiegirl.com
Ruth Lingford www.lumeneclipse.com/gallery/05/lingford/index.html
Joanna Qiunn http://berylproductions.co.uk
Lisa Yu http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0950529
Signe Baumane www.signebaumane.com

Here’s my friend Will Franken presenting a similar program (NOT SAFE FOR WORK):