He-ing Corinna

Corinna, my friend and podcast co-host, is a man to me. I don’t think it’s because I’ve been using sex-based pronouns for him, as I do for everyone. He does pass; the majority of people read him as female. When I first saw him in a video, I thought, “he passes, he’s cute.” And once I mistook him for a mom, from a distance, while he was unloading his bike parked right next to a dad unloading more bikes with his kids. I read them all as a family unit, didn’t recognize Corinna, and rode right by.

Nonetheless, Corinna is a man to me, and not just on a technicality. Calling him “him” generates for me no cognitive dissonance; I don’t get tripped up as I do with Buck Angel. 

Back in the day (circa 2017), when male transactivists liked to claim they were “expanding the bandwidth of womanhood,” gender critical radical feminists responded that such men were expanding the bandwidth of manhood. Why couldn’t we accept that some men are feminine? Men are eager to exclude effeminate men, especially effeminate gay men, from manhood. Meanwhile, unfeminine women, masculine women, were increasingly eager to exclude themselves from womanhood. Radical feminists urged everyone to broaden their acceptance of men and women, to include the full range of behaviors and presentations we call gender. 

This seemed sensible to me. I was already opposed to sexist stereotypes, being gender non-conforming myself. But prior to 2017, I believed if an individual wanted to exclude themselves from their sex class, I should support their exclusion. Isn’t that “kind”?

Well, no. It’s not kind to tell someone that they have no place in their natal sex class because they don’t feel like they fit in. Your sex isn’t socially determined. Yes, your social “sex roles” are, but I supported broadening these categories to include everyone. Women can be firefighters and airplane technicians and boxers, strong and active and butch. Men can be pretty and wear dresses and present themselves as objects for consumption, weak and passive and effeminate. 

Corinna is a man to me. An effeminate gay man with no gonads, who has been on exogenous estrogen for decades. His fat distribution is more “womanly” than my own. He has long hair; I cut mine short. He is a disenchanted transsexual. Does he want to exclude himself from his sex class? I don’t think so, but other men certainly did in the 1990’s, when he chose irreversible surgery as a teenager. 

Corinna is a man attracted to men. He has had relationships with men where both he and they pretended he was a woman. He has told me he doesn’t want to do this again. He knows he is not a woman; he wants to be with a man who accepts him as he is.

Maybe Corinna is a man to me because we’ve had so many conversations about this. Maybe it’s because I really have expanded my idea of manhood and womanhood. Whatever the reason, I now find it jarring when strangers call Corinna “ma’am,” and friends call him “her.” I acknowledge some people sincerely perceive him as female. Others might register ambiguity, but think they know what side of “be kind” they should fall on. 

Sometimes I joke that I call Corinna “he” because I’m an asshole. Or because I’m so rigid about using sex-based pronouns. But the fact is, I really, truly, sincerely perceive Corinna as a man, albeit an extraordinary one. Extraordinary men are men, and, extraordinary though he may be, Corinna is no exception. 


IndieGoGo cancels Agents of H.A.G.

IndieGoGo just canceled  Agents of H.A.G, my first comic book in 30 years, AFTER the campaign successfully ended with 150% of goal. I already ordered books from the printer. Now all the money, all the orders, gone. No appeal, just gone.

I discussed this on the Heterodorx Podcast yesterday, please listen.
I’m traveling this weekend but I hope to have another plan for Agents of H.A.G. next week. Please stay tuned.
This is just another chapter in the story of my cancelation that began in 2017:
Please share.

Order Books

I’m going punk-rock DIY and filling orders by hand.

Media (list to be updated):

The Post Millennial: https://thepostmillennial.com/indiegogo-cancels-cancel-culture-comic-book-artist-after-successful-fundraiser-offers-no-appeal

FIRE discusses crowdfunders canceling comic books, including mine: https://www.thefire.org/news/indie-no-go-popular-crowdfunding-sites-cancel-fundraisers-comic-books-about-gender-identity

more to come…


PaleGray Labs is FOR SALE!

The quilting and embroidery collaboration of Nina Paley and Theodore Gray is for sale and EVERYTHING must go! We hope to sell the whole business as a package. Here’s what you get:

Quilting Master IV full-frame CNC quilting robot, tables, frames, accessories, etc: $30,000 (similar retails for $50,000)

SailRite long-arm zigzag machine, table, accessories: $4,000

Brother 10-needle embroidery machine, accessories: $8,000

Threads, bobbins, etc: $1,000

fabrics & battings (inc. extra wide): $1,000

Fabric cutter/measurer: $1,000

For $5,000 more, we will throw in PaleGray Labs quilting and embroidery designs, consultation/training with Theodore Gray, and disassembling and reassembling the Quilting Master machine! (Buyer covers loading, trucking, and unloading, plus lodging if destination is more than a couple hours from Urbana, IL.)

ALL THIS for just $50,000! Plus loads of extras including a wheeled stand for the embroidery machine, a serger, a barely-used 6-drawer Madiera “treasure chest” embroidery thread collection (retails at over $1,900).

It’s located at 300 S. Broadway Avenue, Urbana, Illinois 61801.
You will need at least 500 sq feet to configure these machines and tables into a functional workspace. But what a workspace you will have! The extremely heavy quilt plotter needs a solid, non-bouncy floor for stability.

Why are we selling? We lost our lease last year when our building was sold to the Champaign County Sheriff’s office and they evicted all non-government tenants. Our new space in the basement of Lincoln Square is overpriced and unpleasant, and Theo and I have become occupied with other projects. We are not giving our machines and materials the love and attention they deserve, and we have to move everything out by end of May.

Interested? Email me at

Quilting Master IV with extra frames
Quilting Master IV cutting/framing/work tables

Brother Entrepreneur Pro 1000e 10-needle embroidery machine
Extra embroidery hoops & accessories
Amazing fabric measuring/cutting station
Amazing fabric measuring/cutting station
Mostly-intact Madeira “Treasure Chest” embroidery threads & cabinet
More thread. So many colors.
So much thread. Cones and spools. We also have an automated bobbin winder.
A mere sampling of the many bolts of quality quilting fabrics in the deal.
A serger. One of many less-pricey tools we have lying around, that come in the package. Like rotary cutters and cutting mats and notions of all kinds.We don’t even know what-all else we have.